what the hell r u doing unfollowing me while im asleep that is disrespectful
girl: come over
me: interior crocodile alligator
girl: my parents aren’t home
me: i drive a chevrolet movie theater
Just walk in to any store that sells Oreos and take some! Don’t even ask, just go to the cookie isle and take them! Keep it a secret though!
This vodka looks like a fucking galaxy bye.
Last Meals of Innocent Men
Campaign for Amnesty International, displaying the final meal requests of prisoners executed on Death Row, who were later found innocent.
Photographed by James Reynolds
Me: Mom I don’t think I am getting any better, I still feel sick…
i’ve been looking for my avocado
the fastest word i can type is motherlode
almost 70,000 people get this joke like is a fandom thing or can you all must type motherlode really fast what is going on
NO ONE SAY ANYTHING
i dont get it
i wanna feel how dogs feel when you let them go in a big field
Please take a moment of your day to help this family get a amber alert going for these two little ones. If you see them call police or crime stoppers at 1-800-speakup.
this is serious, they were in custody of their mother and she was found deceased
Notice something in common in these photos?
It’s not what you think
I gave it away in the third pic
That’s right! None of these cops are wearing badges or name tags! I wonder why… seems like it’d be important to wear those, since it’s even illegal not to in other states…
This could be really bad. Like Joker bad.
Isn’t the badge the sole indicator of your legal authority as a police officer?
Yes, and, as stated above, it’s illegal to act as one without it.
who wants to hire me as their maid i’m not gonna clean im just gonna wear a cute maid outfit dust like 6 things and bend down a lot
this is the funniest thing i’ve ever come across in my life and no one can tell me otherwise